:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Monday, April 30, 2007

wednesday is my day off

i'm going out drinking four times this week.




sign of a problem?
or
sign of a solution to my problem at work?

Labels:

Friday, April 27, 2007

it takes so little to amuse us here in hell





all day yesterday (and part of today) freshmeat and that girl have been entertaining themselves by stacking boxes in front of my veal stall.

it never fails to amuse me.
never.

Labels: ,

french thought of the day

take the time to update your subway trains to include air conditioning.



no matter what time of the day i always found myself breathing in less than pleasant aromas of the french people.

Labels:

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

french thought of the day

some of the most beautiful bits of paris are surrounded by the most boring bits.

prepared to feel bored while lost.

Labels:

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

french thought of the day

is he gay or just french?

is she a whore or just french?

Labels:

Monday, April 23, 2007

614 photos later...

...i'm back.


only to find that blogger made me switch to their new system.
damn the man.

i'll leave you with this photo to tide you over while i get things organized to talk about my trip.




i feel dirty just looking at it.

*fuck blogger...i can't get the image to load correctly.

Labels:

Thursday, April 12, 2007

my neighbors can consider it payback

i forgot to turn off my alarms* before leaving work today. they will go off everyday for the next ten days for 2 hours.

i think it's a fair trade for the number of times i've been woken up by some drunken idiot screaming outside my door.



*yeah, i have two alarms. one for "get your ass out of bed and go to the gym!" and one for "get your ass out of bed and go to work!"

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

in desperate need of "real" mail?
i'm in desperate need of something to do as i sit and get drunk at parisian bars.

just e-mail me your address and i'll do my very best to send you an incoherent postcard during my travels.

i don't promise it will be quality,* but it will be real.

*it will probably read "my boobs do not look good today"

:: quietly panicking ::

DON'T PANIC

crap.



i feel totally unprepared for tomorrow's trip.
shit.

today, i need to concentrate on getting my office in order for vacation and making my apartment comfortable for the cockroaches.



well, at least i've requested my mail to be held and my super shuttle is ordered (fingers crossed that they can find me this time and not park in front of the embassy so i have to dodge traffic and arrive sweaty).

AND i can ask "where is st. jacques street?" in french.



so really, there's no need to panic.
right??

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

sigh.
it's hard being a girl.
and thanks to sephora, it's also rather expensive.

who knew that $75 worth of merchandise could fit in such a small bag??

Monday, April 09, 2007

update on the list

THE LIST
actually plan what your itinerary is (i started...that sort of counts, right?)

learn enough french to be able to realize people are yelling at you for violating sacred church grounds (i'm on lesson 4 out of 8)

purchase a camera case so you can minimalize the amount of fingerprints on the screen (done, but it's the wrong size)

purchase a pair of black flats (store was closed on Easter)

purchase a pair of black tennis shoes to wear when black flats give you blisters (store was closed on Easter)

purchase eye shadow and blush as i'm almost completely out (did everyone but me know that the mall was going to be closed on Easter?!?!)

purchase space saver bags so you don't have to lug more than one suitcase around (done! woooo!)

purchase a new book to read while drinking in the bar (maybe i'll do that tonight)

do laundry so you can have clean underwear (maybe i can do that after shopping tonight)

pack (panic is slowly settling in)

Friday, April 06, 2007

meet joan

this is joan.




this is where she lives.




sometimes i need her to help me get through my work day.
like today.

why macy's can suck it

last night i helped a few friends say "kiss my ass, you filthy bastards" farewell to their coworkers. much drinking and eating occurred.

afterwards freshmeat and i decided we just weren't going to be able to make it all the way home without stopping for a pee break.

luckily macy's was still opened, so we popped in there.
big. mistake.

i've never seen a restroom more unsuited for being an actual restroom.

1. no toilet paper in either stall.

2. no seat covers in either stall that could have been used in place of toilet paper.

3. neither stall door was actually equipped for shutting the door (the door on mine was about 3 inches away from the actual latch making it impossible to latch).


macy's is dead. to. me.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

snookerdoodles
(a.k.a. i'm leaving in exactly one week and i haven't done anything on my list)

crap, crap, crap.
crap.

i leave in one week for my vacation and i've gotten NOTHING done off my list.

THE LIST
actually plan what your itinerary is

learn enough french to be able to realize people are yelling at you for violating sacred church grounds

purchase a camera case so you can minimalize the amount of fingerprints on the screen

purchase a pair of black flats

purchase a pair of black tennis shoes to wear when black flats give you blisters

purchase space saver bags so you don't have to lug more than one suitcase around

purchase a new book to read while drinking in the bar

do laundry so you can have clean underwear

pack

lesson of the day:
always include photos in your e-mails to the bastards running your building

in case you've forgotten (or really don't care about me), five weeks ago a hole was created in the ceiling in the hallway.




a week later the hole was still there, so i e-mailed the property manager and asked when it was going to be repaired. she said it would be fixed that day. here's how they "fixed" it.




four weeks went by where i kept (foolishly) thinking that they were coming back to finish the job. meanwhile, the smell of mold and the continual damage to the wall was less than pleasing.




i finally couldn't wait any longer and e-mailed the property manager again asking when it would be fixed. i came home last night to this.





finally.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

tip for all grand formages

when you leave work early, please tell whoever is in charge that they are, in fact, in charge.

otherwise i run around the office trying to figure out who can make a decision about a stupid ad when i should be reading missed connections.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

my skirt is see-through
and other issues i'm having this morning

1. couldn't find a slip to wear under my new skirt. i'm pretty sure that half the metro area knows more about the shape of my thighs then they wanted to.

2. my victoria secret "no-show" underwear apparently has an expiration date as i'm fairly certain i have the dreaded vpls.

3. bossman changed his password to his computer.