why it's best to have conversations in my head

bossman: hey! someone is casual today.

me: it's casual thursday. didn't you know?*


*translation: i-got-my-period-last-night-and-now-i'm-all-bloated-and-fat-and-ugly-and-i-can't-get-into-any-of-my-clothes-you-bastard-and-if-you-say-one-more-thing-to-me-i'm-going-to-cut-you!