:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Friday, July 31, 2009

le sigh

one of the black plastic discs fell off my skirt today...

...and into the toilet.

just like my life.


Friday, July 17, 2009

i work with disgust-oids

apparently someone finds sitting on the toilet at work a good time to pick their nose and then fling the contents onto the side of the stall in the ladies' restroom.

i work with classy people.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

conversation starter

apparently my breasts look great in the top i'm wearing today.
i've had more men than i care have full-on conversations with them.

apparently they are pleased that my left breast is having a good day and that the right one is looking forward to the long weekend.


Monday, March 30, 2009

psa: under the influence

a few more items to add to the list of things never to do while under the influence...


applying make-up

no good can come from either of them after imbibing.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

the morning after

i woke up to find the following:

blood on my arm

a pirate band-aid on my hand

a pop-up memory of broken glass in my cleavage

ahhh...i love dinner parties.


Monday, March 09, 2009

the songs i just downloaded
or how to tell what type of week i anticipate at work

to start off this week of work i downloaded three songs:

the all-american rejects' gives you hell

kelly clarkson's my life would suck without you

pink's sober

i REALLY need to stop listening to american top 40 on sundays.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

things that full me with rage
(just today anyway)

- stupid vending machines that can't dispense the right change (i needed that quarter for laundry!)

- facebook making me have to dig out my yearbook to figure out who the hell is asking me to be their friend

- people who can't be bothered to fucking clean up their spills ON TOP of the microwave (never mind what they did inside)

- people who won't refill the fucking printer when it's out of paper (i may or may not have canceled all the jobs of people who were waiting for someone else to refill the paper tray)

- people who stand too close to me while i wait for the train to arrive

- my stupid underwear not covering my fat ass like it should