:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

strange things that can happen to your cell phone...

...by knocking it off your nighstand.


the cord accidentally got tangled up with my headphones. so when i yanked my headphones over, i also gave my cell phone one hell of a bungee jump off my nightstand. i picked it up and placed it back where it belonged and thought nothing of it...

...until this morning when i tried to unplug the charger from it, only to realize that a part was now missing from the plug part (into the phone) of the charger. i yanked and yanked (you would have thought i learned my lesson from last night about yanking) only to hear rather unpleasant noises emitting from the phone. that's when i realized the missing part of the charger was now a crumbled bit of plastic that was wielded between thte charger and my phone.

i ALMOST thought about dragging my phone and charger along with me today because i couldn't contemplate the thought of being without my phone.

Friday, April 15, 2005

interesting things found at the office's restroom

sign found taped to a can of "hospital disinfectant deodorant"
By the Way
get HIV from
a toliet seat

which prompted me to read the label of said disinfectant
Kills HIV-1 and Herpes Simplex Types 1 and 2

soooo...either we have people paranoid about the germs/viruses that they think the dirty-dirty people (me) at work are carrying or we have someone who is trying to educate us about how HIV is spread.

either way, i can't wait for the next bathroom PSA.


for all the shit this department does for this institution...shouldn't we have bigger balls?

stellar employee

when your superior gets off the phone with you and says "fucking idiot."

someone is doing a STELLAR job.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

idiots are in charge

i send an e-mail with the subject heading "new york 61 (dex xx)" and attach a scan of this image along with a message that says that this is a scan to replace a scan of a xerox, and that i will send the ct via fedex to arrive tomorrow." the response "which city is this for?"


instead i respond with a simple "new york" and she, in turn, e-mails me and the design manager a huge ass e-mail griping about me!

i hate this fucking place.
i hate these fucking people.
there is NOTHING to make me ever want to stay here.
so why do i?

they seriously wouldn't care if i stayed or left.

fuck. is it margarita time yet?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

making me want to cry

this day HAS to end. now.
otherwise i may find a hole to crawl into and cry/self-pity myself.

this day SUCKS.

you know a party is memorable when...

...you walk into the kitchen to find two guys talking about UTIs and how women get them so frequently ("it's because they wipe back to front") and then on to how they hate it when they get soap in their "pee-pee hole" while masturbating in the shower.


did i mention that this was a party at MY house.
what does this say about the company i keep?

Friday, April 08, 2005

dating & the city

once in a while (or everyday for those surrounded by witty people) comes a phrase that just cracks you up.

over ripe = how a small, wiry man makes a volumptous woman feel while on a date

this day blew donkey balls

i now officially hate the entire dada art movement. i hate the person who couldn't decide which images to include in the catalogue...so let's include them all. i hate that no one keeps me informed about what is in and what is out so that i can update my catalogue list.

all in all, this day blew. i'm skipping the gym to go home and cuddle with the loves of my life, ben and jerry.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

too early?

isn't a discussion of late term abortions, feeding tubes, HUD, and problems in africa a little much this early in the work day?

you know it's going to be a bad day

So basically one of my copublishers called to announce that they weren't able to pay an invoice yet because they didn't have proof of delivery. Keep in mind that delivery should have happened last SEPTEMBER...and all shipping documents were sent to them early DECEMBER. But they just now notice that they hadn't paid our invoice (on a side note: who's keeping tabs HERE on non-payers?!). So they want *me* to give them proof of delivery. Ummm...why not just call your warehouses and ask them if a crap-load of books are there?!