:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Friday, April 28, 2006

Awkward Moment #8,265,001

I ran into a member from another department when I stepped off the subway this morning. This guy is super nice and sweet and always up for a chat (I've even meet his daughter).

So when I saw that he had a bag with him, I cheerfully enquired where he was going this weekend. this pained look crossed his face and he mumbled something about how he's not going anywhere this weekend.

I'm seen that pained look before on others.

I quickly changed the subject back to work.

But he brought it up later on the walk into work.

NiceGuy: Actually I'm coming from a hotel. My wife and I weren't able to deal with a problem and so I left to stay the night elsewhere.

SmoothComfortingMe: ouch. um, at least you got control of the tv.

NiceGuy: Ha! No, I didn't as you had to pay to watch tv. So I just sat on the edge of the bed and read a magazine.

SmoothComfortingMe: ahhh...

NiceGuy: So what are you doing this weekend?

Sweet Goodness! I can't even comfort the poor guy! We ended the conversation talking about this cartoon called O'Grady that his daughter watches. Apparently it's funny like Adult Swim funny.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Calling All Straight Men for the O

I have found THE place for straight men in DC.

Last week Riot Girl invited me to a reception hosted by Generation O, which is an organization within the Washington National Opera. It is geared toward attracting the younger generation (under 35) to the joys of opera...at a reduced price ($50 for orchestra seats and $75 for prime orchestra seats when you purchase a subscription).

Now, truth be told, I've only been to one opera. In high school the Long Beach Opera, in an attempt to try to reach children who may never been to the theater, came to our school to teach us about one opera and then sent us on a field trip to see the opera in person. Now I don't remember which one it was or even if I enjoyed it. All I can remember is that all the characters were dressed as animals (anyone have a clue which one that might be???).

But back to the reception.

It was hosted in the courtyard of Poste (located in the Hotel Monaco), and the weather couldn't have been nicer for it. They had a lovely cheese and fruit spread, tasty appetizers, and a nice selection of drinks (which they ran out of toward the end of the evening...but really, are we all that surprised that an event for people 35 and under would run out of booze???).

Riot Girl had invited her husband along, which brought the average ratio of men to women up to 1:7.

It was ridiculous the amount of women there. Men, this is your chance. You must come to the next event. You don't even have to dress nicely (as the scruffy young man found out as he was constantly surrounded by a gaggle of women the entire time he was there). Just come.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Title of Today's Lunch Break

"Radio Personalities Live in Shitholes"
"Dear Penthouse, the strangest thing happened to me today..."

At lunch today I decided to help FreshMeat check out an apartment way out in Georgetown.

When we arrived there, FreshMeat had to call Kyle (the guy who was showing the place around) to get him to let us in.

Now, as most of my friends know, I have a problem with being attracted to younger guys. Why? I don't know. I'm sure most of my friends have explanations that they would love to share with me about this subject.

So when this guy Kyle opened the door I knew I would have to watch myself in case the drool from my mouth became apparent. He has this scruffy, surfer look to him with the most amazing eyes. Grrrr! This boy just screamed MY TYPE.

Kyle then shows FreshMeat his basement apartment. It's pretty close to a shithole. There's no stove (Kyle uses a hot plate and microwave) and no natural light in the "bedroom" area. The only thing this place has going for it is the rent ($650/month plus utilities). Basically between the exposed pipes, low ceilings, and stand-up shower stall, only a guy would think to live there.

Kyle had "decorated" his space with all sorts of t-shirts and concert backstage passes (the kind that are laminated and on a string) on the aforementioned exposed piping. As I'm glancing around the room I can't help but noticed what a HUGE DC101 fan he must be. T-shirts from many events and the morning show were everywhere.

On the walk back I mentioned my insatiable lust for Kyle to FreshMeat and mentioned that he must be a big DC101 fan.

and then it hit me.


Kyle works at DC101 on their morning show.
I, of course, race back to work to confirm it.

Must. Control. Urge. To. Stalk.

Monday, April 24, 2006

My Weekend...

...was spent eating the delicious wonderfulness of Baked Cheetos, drinking diet pepsi,* and watching season one of Alias.

what did you do?

*sorry phil...coke products weren't on sale (AGAIN).

Friday, April 21, 2006

Embarrassing Moment #6,589,429

Getting caught by one of my bosses while I was licking the Cheetos "dust" off my fingers.

I don't like to let good cheetos dust go to waste.

Secret of the Week

I hate how it looks like my blog vomited pink all over itself.

I'm really starting to HATE pink.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Kitchen Clean Up

I've been rather sluttish this past week with cleaning up my kitchen...especially when it comes to the washing up.

I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it...not even when I had to use the warped fork for dinner last night.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Don't piss me off

I just went and farted in TheNazi's office.

Some days you really need to take your revenge (no matter how subtle) on those who have wronged you...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Things I never knew until I hosted brunch this weekend.

1. Sometimes you do need those random utensils that you see at kitchenware stores...even if it's only for one time.
(item purchased that I never thought I would need: pie server)

2. The UnSafeway doesn't allow you to buy alcohol before 9 a.m.
(nothing more humiliating than being in line at 8:37 a.m. and finding this out...and then having the cashier recognize you when you go back after 9 to purchase said alcohol)

3. It IS possible to eat my own body weight in pasta salad and sheet cake.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Stage Two

D.C. taxes are finished and I'm still getting a (much smaller) refund after they raped me and my wages.

Stage One

Federal taxes are done...and I've getting a refund!

Woo hoo!!

Is it wrong...

...to use "work time" to fill out your taxes??

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Who's a stellar employee?


The GranFromage walked in on me while I had this up on my screen. She then proceeded to have a long conversation with me about a missing form.

The entire time my finger was itching to try to find a way to switch views. But I couldn't think of a way without drawing attention to what I was viewing.

I'm glad my review isn't until October.

Oh. Sweet. Jaysus.

From time to time Dooce will post some hate mail she receives (you know you've arrived when you receive your first hate mail).

One of these e-mails referring to a book that she had talked about a few days earlier. So I went back and started reading the comments.

Holy. Crap.

I found these links in the comment section.




warning: might not want to pull them up when someone is standing over your shoulder...at work.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


I mean I know that we are trash, but do have to do things to advertise it to everyone.
--me, in reference to finding out that my brother, who was 18 at the time, was dating a 16 year-old with a 2-year old child

And that's how I felt yesterday when I saw that someone had stolen a stroller from the National Zoo and then left it in front of McDonald's (about a 15 minute walk [downhill] from the zoo).

I mean, come on people! What every happen to having some common courtesy?!

Please don't steal from Butterstick.

that's just so wrong.

Monday, April 10, 2006

How do you spell pathetic?

Saturday, 9 pm, at the UnSafeway.

I'm in the checkout line with the following items:
  • Bagel Bites
  • light ice cream
  • chocolate iced donuts
  • chocolate milk
  • 12-pack, diet pepsi

    No, not me!

    The guy behind me who decided to flick through the Cosmo while waiting for his turn. I think it was the article on "Ultimate Orgasms" that caught his eye.
  • Friday, April 07, 2006


    When my hair looks like COMPLETE SHIT, please tell me!

    When I left my place this morning, the hair looked fine. I should have realized that the rain would turn my hair into a big ball of frizz! But of course I didn't look at it until I was just in the restroom.


    Have I mentioned how much I hate what rain and humidity does to my hair?
    It's enough to make me move back to California.


    check out the Missed Connections posting here.

    Um, okay. There's a lot of hurt and anger in this posting. That much is obvious.

    And while I'm a fan of using caps to stress my point, but when I see NOTHING but caps through an entire posting it makes my eyes hurt.

    p.s. - what does "halfassers" mean? am i so out of it that i don't know the current colloquialism for jackasses??

    Thursday, April 06, 2006

    Did you see that?!

    On my morning commute to work I noticed a silent moving-picture advertisement outside my metro window as the train sped from Gallery Place to Judiciary Square.

    It was an ad for a Lincoln car.

    I glanced around the train to see if anyone noticed...seemed like I was the only one.

    I continued to stare at it with my mouth open. For whatever reason the whole concept dumbfounded me.

    I think it's great that WMATA has found another way to make more money. I can only pray this means that the fare won't continue to increase as quickly as the last two increases.

    I just hope that this doesn't mean that as Americans we can't handle the thought of not having something entertain us every second of our day.

    and this is coming from the girl who has the shakes from not having cable anymore, and is excited at the thought of watching Lost episodes on Archie (the iPod) while riding the subway to and from work.

    You can read WMATA's press release here.

    Wednesday, April 05, 2006

    This person out does me in looking for flaws in the opposite sex

    check it out

    Wow. Somehow someone posting on Missed Connections on Craigslist shouldn't point fingers at MySpace people.

    just saying...

    Secret of the Week

    I'm scared there's someone in my closet whenever I open it.

    Even if I was just in there. There's that moment of hesitation before I open it.

    Tuesday, April 04, 2006

    Thought of the day...

    The Golden Girls were the original Sex and the City.

    Scary, but true.

    Which leads me to ask...which Golden Girl are you?
    (take the test here)

    And...which Sex and the City girl are you?
    (take the test here)

    Monday, April 03, 2006

    Trusting my gut instinct

    It's not something I do often...no matter how many times I'm proven right. For whatever reason I want to give the other person an out, find a reasonable explanation for what they are doing instead of realizing that they are JACKASSES and that it's okay for me to think of them as so.

    Friday after work, I hopped on the metro to meet Law-Rah for an evening of drinking and EPH.

    I had recently received an iPod from my mom, so I was enjoying the fact that I was listening to music on the subway* and reading a particularly gruesome novel (don't read before a meal unless you enjoy reading about a murderer who enjoys a repast of kidneys and liver from his victims. But otherwise a very good novel).

    At one stop this guy comes on and flops down next to me. Immediately red flags were raised all over the place. I felt uncomfortable and had a HUGE desire to get the hell away from him.

    Why? Because when he sat down he took up the whole seat and then some, so that his leg was touching mine.

    The more I tried to scrunch my body up against the wall, the more his leg crept over onto my part of the seat.

    The entire time I kept thinking that maybe he doesn't realize he is invading my space. I mean there are times when I TOTALLY space out on the subway and not realize how close I may be standing next to someone.

    So I tried looking up and moving my leg away. He response was to also move his leg. Phew! I thought, he really didn't realize how close he was to me. But within moments his leg was back again. Being the passive-aggressive person I am, I immediately got up and exited the train to get on another one.

    Over reacting?

    Did I feel better once I left?

    *(up until this point I have been using a WALKMAN. that's right. I wasn't even using a DISCMAN. sad I know. DCSC and Chanuck were so amused by my antiquated machinery that they generously purchased an iPod Shuffle for my birthday. I don't think they could take me lugging my walkman around anymore)