:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Monday, July 31, 2006

Witness the Window

so here's the image of what some (drunk?) idiot did to the glass at the front of my apartment building.

time to move?

Another reason why I don't sleep well at nights

I woke up at 1 am (after a half hour of sleep) to this:


needless to say it took me several hours to fall back to sleep after hearing that screamed in front of my apartment building.

when the hell did my neighborhood go from car break-ins to gun toting thugs?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Another day, another reason why Verizon can suck it

I've been trying to e-mail myself a photo I took on my phone so I could post it here. It's just a shot of the cracked glass where someone either tried to bash there way in or out of my apartment building (just another example of the true ghetto building I live in).

but NO, the damn image show up in any of my e-mails' inboxes.

and I like to blame Verizon for that.

don't burst my bubble of hatred.

on another note...after today i will only have FIVE more days of HATING the LazyWhore left!
hmmm...what am i going to do with all my hatred?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Oh, there's a game going on?

So Saturday I did something I haven't done in years.

I wore shorts.

In public.


Oh, and I also attended a Nationals game with some rather FANTASTIC people (DCSC, Fred, Marci, Buggie, Sweet, and Heather).

(see them for photos)

Highlights (for me) include:
1. making everyone do AT LEAST one jell-o shot and watching their fingers turn pink
2. Zimmer-licious' ass
3. being mocked for knitting at the game
4. DCSC for trooping ALL OVER the stadium looking for hurricanes to drink (they might want to seriously think of adding other cocktails there. a girl can only take so much beer...at least this girl can only take so much.)
5. the mullet-sporting beer vendor (complete with his sleeves rolled up and held in place with a binder clip)
6. Ryan Church

All in all, I had a great time and I would love to go again with such a fun group!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

How NOT to Start Your Day

1. wake up in a sweat from an awful dream that you didn't pay your cell phone bill from last month and the bastards were coming after you. fucking suck you dry. fucking leeches. though, really. what a rather boring dream. shouldn't i have ones that include my movie-star boyfriends Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Ryan Reynolds?)

2. get ready at the gym while standing next to the tan, blonde amazon with her perfect body and perfect hair and her perfect tan (seriously. they need separate locker rooms for the AmazinglyBeautiful so that the NicelyOrdinary don't feel like shit while getting ready in the morning. just saying.)

3. realize that you forgot to shave your underarms. and you're wearing a sleeveless top. sonofabitch

4. have the LazyWhore almost show up on time (9:30 is DEFINITELY an improvement over 11:40) and proving to me, once again, that she is a complete waste of space. (11 days until she's gone!)

Friday, July 21, 2006

Jell-o Shots and Hot Dogs

So tonight and tomorrow I'm going to see the Nationals play at the grand reopening of RFK with DC Sports Chick.

This will bring my grand total of games I've seen this season to:

(which is three times as many games I've ever seen in one season before.)

Let's hope I don't embarrass DCSC too much.

In preparation for tomorrow I'm making jell-o shots for tailgating...Obviously I'm going to do something with red in honor of the "Paint the Town Red" theme.

Look for photos on DCSC's blog.

What does the LazyWhore make you do?

e-mail conversation between myself and FreshMeat about the LazyWhore

FreshMeat: I hate her soooooo much. She makes me sick.

me: She makes me drink.

FreshMeat: She makes me smoke.

me: Which kind?

so this leads me to wonder if other people have their own archenemy person at work and what that person does to you...

go on. shaaaarrrrreeee.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Your photos look like crap

So something has happened to my beloved camera in the last few months. I've noticed that the photos come out looking like crap more and more often.

I think it might be time to come into this millennium and get a digital camera (especially for the London trip as i have a tendency to take a zillion and one photos).

Ideally i would pee my pants if i could get Nikon D70 or D50...but those are a BIT out of my price range.

that girl showed me her Canon PowerShot sd450 and it looks lovely. but then a friend showed me her Elph and it was pretty.

Basically i want something that will be slim enough to throw into a purse or into a pocket, yet will give me amazing quality.

Any other suggestions?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Wait...what?! My blog was mentioned on the radio?!?

Thanks to Moxie for letting me know that my blog got mentioned this morning on DC101's Elliot in the Morning show.

Now I need to be witty and clever.



Tip for the tourists

DO NOT go barefoot in this city!

If you are stupid enough to wear heels and they start to hurt your feet, then suck it up and get a taxi. Don't take your shoes off. You'll only get strange looks and smirks from the locals.

Monday, July 17, 2006

If I ever say "Let's do shots!" you know it's time to bitch slap me
...and other observations

So Friday was Bastille Day, and what better way to celebrate it than at L'Enfant (which was having a French Maid sprint). Unfortunately the place was packed by the time FreshMeat and I showed up. So we headed up to the Angry Inch for a drink.

Um, yeah.

We were their ONLY costumers for most of the evening until we left (9:30?). And as such, the bartenders had a tendency to make our drinks REALLY strong. So that by the time we had our third drink I thought it was a FANTASTIC idea to start doing shots.

There's nothing more pathetic than being WASTED at 9 pm and passing out by 10.

The next evening I was supposed to be planning my London trip, but instead I got sucked into Unbreakable because neither FreshMeat nor I could remember the ending (by the way, the ending sucks...probably why I didn't remember it.).

note to self: try to limit shots to just Saturday night so the whole weekend isn't a waste...

Friday, July 14, 2006

The Farting Incident of 2006

I really wish I could explain all the many, many reasons why I hate the LazyWhore, but they probably sounds silly and pathetic. So I decided to give you an example of why I hate her today.

me: ::I came and sat at my desk stamping my feet a few time in frustration to a problem::

LW: Did you do that?

me: ::staring at her blankly::

LW: Did you let one go?

me: ::staring at her with hatred::

LW: It certain smells over here!

me: ::staring at her like the idiot she is::

LW: ::dramatically waving her arms around::
I wonder why the smell is only here?

here are my issues:
1. My sad little veal stall is at least 10 feet from her. If I did in fact fart, won't it smell in only my area...unless I made an effort to waft it over to her side.

2. Who would accuse a college of farting?? You ignore it and move on.

3. She's a fucking moron and I need to find a countdown counter to put on here so I can joyfully countdown until she's finally gone.

I'm so going to start farting in her space whenever she's not there.

Hmmm...I better start loading up on fiber.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Reasons why I hate going to the gym after work

1. It cuts into my drinking time.

2. It's ALWAYS crowded.

3. It's hot as balls.

4. It smells like the person next to me.

5. It cuts into my drinking time.

6. I hate getting home at 8:30 at night.

7. If I don't go in the mornings, then I run the risk of seeing someone I know from work on the way to work. Twenty minutes of awkward conversation IS NOT the way I like to start my mornings.

8. I hate watching I Love the 70s.

9. More women end up seeing my boobs when I go in the evening. I would like to cut down the number of people who have seen them.


Thursday, July 06, 2006

You know what's hot?

Getting sick right before jetting off to MINNEAPOLIS for a wedding.

I do plan on using my new phone sex operator voice to my advantage on Saturday. I HAVE TO make out with somebody at someone's wedding. so far i haven't even gotten a wink. that's just sad and pathetic.

or it could be the cold medicine talking.

either way.

anyways, hope you guys (all 4 of my loyal readers) have an awesome weekend!


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Cold Medicine + Lunchtime Margarita = Being COMPLETELY Out of It


I feel buzzed and that's not possible...off of one margarita...and some cold medicine.

that can't be good, right??

though I do have some good news to share.

LAZY WHORE is quitting!!!

I don't know all the details. I plan on getting FreshMeat drunk tonight so I can get the scoop.

Life is indeed good again.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Ladies don't sweat

Growing up, my grandmother would tell my sister and I that "Ladies don't sweat. We glisten."
And she was so right.

I never saw a woman break out into a sweat unless she was doing something rather physical. But then again I grew up in southern California, where we are blissfully ignorant of this thing called humidity.

When I moved out East, not only did I learned that women did in fact sweat, but that they sweat A LOT. There's just no dainty way to delicately remove the sweat that collects on the upper lip and forehead. And DON'T EVEN get me started on the ladylike sweat that somehow collects on my back on the 15-minute walk from my apartment to the subway station.

I'm at a lost of how to remain "fresh" looking.

And I REFUSE to use something called a "sweat rag." That just sounds ten shades of nasty.