How NOT to Start Your Day
1. wake up in a sweat from an awful dream that you didn't pay your cell phone bill from last month and the bastards were coming after you. fucking suck you dry. fucking leeches. though, really. what a rather boring dream. shouldn't i have ones that include my movie-star boyfriends Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Ryan Reynolds?)
2. get ready at the gym while standing next to the tan, blonde amazon with her perfect body and perfect hair and her perfect tan (seriously. they need separate locker rooms for the AmazinglyBeautiful so that the NicelyOrdinary don't feel like shit while getting ready in the morning. just saying.)
3. realize that you forgot to shave your underarms. and you're wearing a sleeveless top. sonofabitch
4. have the LazyWhore almost show up on time (9:30 is DEFINITELY an improvement over 11:40) and proving to me, once again, that she is a complete waste of space. (11 days until she's gone!)
2. get ready at the gym while standing next to the tan, blonde amazon with her perfect body and perfect hair and her perfect tan (seriously. they need separate locker rooms for the AmazinglyBeautiful so that the NicelyOrdinary don't feel like shit while getting ready in the morning. just saying.)
3. realize that you forgot to shave your underarms. and you're wearing a sleeveless top. sonofabitch
4. have the LazyWhore almost show up on time (9:30 is DEFINITELY an improvement over 11:40) and proving to me, once again, that she is a complete waste of space. (11 days until she's gone!)
posted by vixen @ 3:11 PM
5 Comments:
At July 25, 2006 7:11 PM,
Matt said…
nobody cares about armpit hair really- its just a method of making women neurotic.
At July 26, 2006 3:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
I completely agree our gym needs to exercise some segregation in the ladies locker room. I recommend an "I'm frighteningly comfortable with my naked body" area as well.
At July 26, 2006 8:28 PM,
Tara said…
Yes, I second the Frighteningly Comfortable/Too Wierd For The Rest Of Us. So that the women who insists on hot-rolling her hair in her pantyhose alone....on a near-daily basis....can have her own space.
At July 27, 2006 3:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hmmm...I'm going to take Tara's comments to heart as she caught me ironing in her bathroom in nothing but nylons the other morning...
At July 28, 2006 6:08 PM,
vixen said…
ah, kbean...that's hot.
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