:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

i'm going to come sick to all my meetings now*

*as soon as everyone in the meeting realized that i was getting sick, they all moved away from me. heh.

first off, i dragged myself in a day early to get prepared for this meeting. why? because the person we are meeting with is INSANE and the higher-ups don't want this meeting to drag on and on.

translation: i spent two hours trapped in a room with people.

my main task, to put it as dully as possible, was to take the person's list of images that they wanted to use and put xeroxes (or the real image when i had it) into a binder. this can be a bit of a problem when her list will read something like "view of bay" and you have three slides that may all be view of some bay.


anyways, during this two-hour meeting the person pulls out a NEW (MOTHERFUCKING) list of images she wants to use. i then spend the rest of yesterday and today cross-checking both lists only to find that she has dropped TWENTY-NINE of her images from the old list and has added THIRTY-FIVE new images (keep in mind that we are in the process of ordering off her old list and some of the now dropped images are actually here).

what the hell?!?!

sadly, i'm not allowed to beat her senseless.

the higher-ups let her get away with it.

well, until i sent them a list and pointed out what a effed up person she is to do this shit to us.

i don't think i hid my discontentment from her very well...or from bossman either.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

housebound for days

things i learned while taking copious amount of nyquil...

1. i can watch the entire fourth season of mi-5 in one day.

2. nyquil gives me fucked up dreams (no one should dream about traveling with two ex-boyfriends, their sister, and their mother...in paris)

3. there is now a plate-spinner / juggler in the background on jerry springer. when did this happen?

4. daytime tv still blows donkey balls. but daytime tv + nyquil = sleeping pill

5. by the third day, i'm so desperate for the sound of another person's voice that i will drag myself down the street so i can sit in kbean's house and watch footballer's wives with her...while we both sniffle.

6. if i don't reposition myself ever so often, the couch will reform around my ass creating a dent

7. the importance of having daytime pajamas to change into

8. the postman comes at 2 pm during the week

9. sometimes doing several facial masks as a way to pass the time is not a good idea

10. taking out the trash is essential if one doesn't want to be buried under a pile of tissues


Thursday, January 24, 2008

plie this

best quote from the class: i definitely didn't wear the right underwear for this class.

i think this class has a lot of potential and it will probably be the only gym "class" i take this winter...if for no other reason than i like to embarass myself in front of strangers (nothing like kicking across a room to make you bound with other graceless people).

my major complaint would have to be her lack of a playlist. she spent a good portion fliping through her cds trying to find a cd that worked. ugh.

but i'm curious to see how she plans on taking a much of gawky people and turning them into graceful gazelles.

and so much for not working up a sweat...i woke up this morning with my legs and stomach aching.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

why i keep all my work e-mails

imporant person from another department phoned me with a request...

ipad: i'm trying to track down those word docs that transcribed an interview i had with blah-blah-blah. i can't find them and i was hoping you had them.

me: ummm...i'm not sure i worked on that project.

ipad: it would have been from fall of 2005.

me: yeah. i wouldn't have kept them after passing them along to you. i'm just the middle man. have you tried checking with the Grand Fromage?

well, i checked all my e-mail looking for something from you and i don't have it. could you try to find the name of the transcriber?

me: um...

sadly, i did find the e-mail with all the word docs...


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

it's only tuesday and this week is already too long


can i leave for happy hour yet?


Friday, January 18, 2008

my morning so far

6:00 am: woke up an hour before my alarm went off

6:05 am:
drag myself out of bed to take some aspirin

6:06 am:
see myself in the bathroom mirror and thank goodness that no one "gets" to see me in this state

6:15 am: trying to will my body back to sleep

6:30 am:
wonder if i should turn on the tv to lull me back to sleep

6:35 am: wonder if i can physically drag myself out of bed to get some water

6:36 am: decide i cannot

6:40 am:
turn on the office dvd hoping to at least entertain myself before i get up

6:58 am:
my first alarm goes off

7:05 am: my second alarm goes off

7:15 am: know i need to get up but am physically incapable of doing that

7:20 am: doze off

7:40 am: decide i really need to get up and face the day

8:00 am: get out of bed

8:03 am: text message from freshmeat telling me how much she hates life this morning. i write back "my stomach hates life."

8:42 am:
leave the house for work

9:25 am: roll into work*

*no one notices and if they did i would blame metro


Monday, January 14, 2008

guys beating the crap out of each other

on saturday i attended my very first hockey game.

q: so what finally inspired me to go to one?
a: hot guys carrying guns*

freshmeat, another friend, and i all trucked it out to reston for the game. sadly our seats didn't command a good view of one of the goals, but overall it was a good time.

and then it became a really AWESOME time.

a fight broke out.
i don't know what it is...something...animalistic...but it was so fucking hot watching them beat the crap out of each other.


i'll definitely consider going to another game.

*it was the fbi vs secret service game. rawr!


Friday, January 11, 2008

day 10 in the land where a gallon of gas costs 39 cents

freshmeat: there's a spring up my ass!

today we were being picked up by the company and taken to the places they listed on their tour but failed to tell our guide to take us to. then, to really piss us off, they come an hour earlier than they said they would.

::squinty eyes::


our first stop is at the royal palace of el montazah...this is where the residency of the egyptian president is...along with some beautiful gardens. our guide waas very concerned that we got ALL the photos we needed. he would stop the van so we could get out, we would take the photos, hop back into the van, and van would go about 5 feet and the whole process would start all over again.

lucky, lucky us.

our next stop was the roman amphitheater. it was interesting...but almost impossible to get nice photos with tourists in all of them.

and finally, we started the drive back to cairo.

when we got back we were able to meet up with the british couple and have a few last drinks with them before they got on a plane to their next destination in their around-the-world trip (india). and we got to dump some of our unused items onto them (toilet paper, iodine, and the like).

it was definitely weird to think that we only had one more day left. and that we wouldn't see the british couple again. they definitely made our trip a lot of fun.

and i'll never think of speedos in the same way again.


Monday, January 07, 2008

trying to put the "sin" in"single"


you know what is difficult when you live alone in a tiny apartment?

flipping your fucking mattress.

i got the bruises to prove it.


Friday, January 04, 2008

the shower in our AWESOME hotel room in alexandria

there is nothing to shield the water from going EVERYWHERE in this tiny hotel bathroom.


Thursday, January 03, 2008

day 9 in the land where you can buy beer from some guy in a place called "drinkies"

freshmeat: if i was sober, i don't think i would eat this.

ahhh...our unexpected free day in alexandria. sadly we don't know what to do with ourselves. so we decided to let ourselves sleep in (needed after MANY early morning sightseeing trips!) and watch horrible, horrible western movies. unfortunately housekeeping comes by while we are still in our pajamas. as she speaks very little english, i attempt to ask her to come back in 15 minutes...in my very little arabic.

it doesn't work.

translation: our room is never cleaned.

the alexandria library doesn't open until 3 so we have hours to kill. one of my guide books suggests a walking tour. we need to walk to the center of town to start it. luckily, the street has underground passages so we don't have to fear for our lives crossing it (we wanted to walk on the beach side). sadly, when we got to the center of town there was no underground passages.

we used a local as a shield.
he was willing.

we had lunch in an art deco building...stumbled our way to a beautiful synagogue (it's closed and my book said it would only be open to people of the faith. but as soon as they saw us, they came running out...we left before we had to take a tour). we continued walking to get to some bank that was supposed to have amazing architecture on the inside...only to realize it was closed (it was saturday).


so eventually we wasted enough time and we went to the library. wow. truly awesome! so beautiful on the inside. the guided tour lasted about 10 minutes, but was very informative. afterward, we went to the cafe and sat on the terrace and watched a bunch of men in uniforms (spanish navy?) walk around as a huge group taking photos at every vantage point.

as the sun started to set, we started the trek back to our hotel. along the way we passed a man sitting in a small store that only sold beer (just him, a ledger to record how much was bought, and a small display case of beer). it's name was "drinkies." we went back and stocked up for the night. we were especially excited to try the 10% beer.

we spent the night drinking and watching movies. at one point we became hungry and i went down in search of "pizza." whatever was delivered to our door 40 minutes later was...under-cooked...but festively wrapped up in ribbons (with plenty of ketchup).

i still to this day don't know why they serve ketchup with pizza.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

read between the lines

a conversation i had with the bossman this afternoon about the layout of an ad

they wanted me to switch these two items. but i don't think it works. i like the original layout.

yeah. you need to tell them that this won't work. at all.


this sucks.

but don't tell them that exactly.