:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Friday, June 30, 2006

Advice for the holiday weekend

Don't be this guy.

Because I will find you and photograph just how pretty you are.

My favorite john

I've started reading a new book, Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl. It poses an interesting theory within the first few pages: you can tell a lot about a call girl by which john is her favorite.

This led me to think about who was my favorite john (substituting "johns" for dates/lovers) and what that might say about me.

And I can't pick just one. Three men stand out among the throngs of men that have made my bed a revolving door.
I think if I combined them all I might just have the perfect man.

1. MaineGuy: it was always ALL ABOUT ME and MY NEEDS. It was quite heady to be in bed with him. I never had a guy be able to relax me like him.

2. AlmostRoommate: it never progressed beyond simple old school making out. But it was electric! We seemed so in sync, it frightened me.

3. ReporterGuy: I just couldn't get enough of him. I was always excited to hear from him and my favorite moments are when he was just holding me close. I didn't feel this need to bed him.

So what does this say about me??

The Starboard's "Champagne Game"
a.k.a. more photos of my friends drinking at Dewey

So there was this circle of guys at the Starboard passing around a bottle of champagne and CHUGGING it. They eventually pulled my friends into their little game. (apparently the rules are you chug as much as possible before passing it to the person on the left. If you finish the bottle then the person on the left has to buy the next bottle. I know, it's a complicated game those drunk boys play.)

And I, of course, took photos.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

More Dewey Photos

these are from our last night there.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Dewey Photos


i'm having some trouble with uploading photos.

But here's a preview of some photos...more can be viewed on flickr.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Do-Me Weekend

Number of hours spent on the beach: 2

Number of hours spent in a bar (or had a drink in my hand): 19

Number of times my face was licked by a boy: 1 (definitely an improvement)

Number of boys that crashed at our hotel room: 1

Number of times a boy tried to fondle my boobs without even attempting to talk to me: 1

Number of times I looked around and saw ALL my friends "dancing" with guys: 10

Number of blackmail photos documenting this weekend: 50 (to be posted tomorrow)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Going to the beach, bitches

I'm heading out shortly to deal with traffic and shoving as many slutty outfits as possible into one bag.

That's right, I'm making my annual pilgrimage to Dewey Beach (pronounced "do-me"). This year I'm going with Kbean, Meggers, and Vdawg. If there are any stories/pictures I'm allowed to share, I'll be sure to post them come Monday.

But before you all get too jealous, it's supposed to rain the ENTIRE weekend.

But I look hot wet.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Moral quandaries

Is it wrong to use the return addresses that the charity sends you even if you don't give them money?

Is it wrong to only like someone when they are drunk?

Is it wrong to feel a bit of glee when you run into an ex and see that they haven't aged as gracefully as you have?

I suggest you don't piss me off

if one more person from IT tells me to delete my e-mail I WILL shove my keyboard up their ass!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

end of the day

Number of times vomited: 1 (but it was just Pibb...so it doesn’t count, right?)

Number of daydreams about beach weekend: 173

Number of thoughts of ReporterGuy: 2,398

Number of times I reminded myself that he wants nothing serious: 2,182 (getting better)

Number of times I squealed with glee about my upcoming trip to London and Germany (for Oktoberfest): 79

Number of daydreams about hot British guys: 45

Note to self...

Do NOT have a double quarter pounder with cheese AFTER ingesting mozzarella sticks AND some drinks while waiting for the storm to pass so you can go home.

it's just not pretty.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Movie Saturday

I spent most of my Saturday huddled on the couch clutching a box of tissues and eating ice cream in an attempt to ease my sore throat.

But one movie stood out from the other average crap that Blockbuster is pushing: The Syrian Bride. If you can't handle subtitles, then this movie isn't for you. It's a story about a young woman who lives in a Druze village in the Golan Heights (in northern Israel), who is getting married to a Syrian television star. Once she crosses the border to Syria she will never see her family again (she will gain Syrian citizenship, and Syrians are not allowed into Israel). I went through about 4 tissues from all the crying. Definitely worth the rental fee!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Updated tally

number of times I've had a pop-up memory from last night: 8

number of times I've checked my phone today for hilarious photos of the bachelor party antics: 3

number of times I thought attempting jumping jacks was a good idea: 1

number of times I wondered why my hair is sticky: 5

number of times I thanked every I consider holy that I didn't drunk dial anyone (read: ReporterGuy): 4,932!

The world is still spinning...
and other observations

Nothing quite like waking up at 9 am to your friend's cell phone alarm going off to Shakira, and then leaping out of bed to get to work 50 minutes later.

Then your head starts to hurt.

And then you remember why.

And then IT comes to your office demanding to know why you have so much e-mail (duh. because I'm popular.).
And then the paranoia sets in about how they are "watching" your account and you better stop it with the e-mails to the FreshMeat and That Girl about how people in your office are idiots.

Back to last night...

I had to work an event until 9:45, then I scooted home to change and get myself out to Heaven for 80s night. And because I can't dance without a drink in my hand, I'm quickly sucking down vodka and diet cokes while be HIGHLY amused by a bachelor party ("I love you, but I have to go.").

Next thing I know it's last call and Megtern has reeled in a young man...and his three friends. All of them back to my shithole apartment for entertainment ("if we all take off our tops, will you take off yours?").

Megtern is making out in my bathroom when I hear a HORRIBLE crash. When I went in later it looked like those two were just short of tearing down my shower curtain. EVERYTHING was on the floor or in the bathtub (including the toilet paper holder that was screwed into the door). The boys leave and it's 4:30 when we crash out on my bed.

Fast forward to 9 this morning and Shakira.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Two wrongs make a right?

At last night's happy hour I had a deep and philosophical discussion with others about how unpleasant (a.k.a. ten shades of nasty!) red bull and jaeger are on their own. BUT mix them together (jaeger bomb) and instantly they are DELICIOUS and you want another.

Which leads me to ask:

what other two wrongs making a right are there?

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


number of thoughts about ReporterGuy: 5,893

number of times i've fantasize about the next time i see ReporterGuy: 3,737

number of times i hated on the LazyWhore: 97

number of times i've drafted an e-mail to ReporterGuy: 2

number of times i've thought i COULD be America's Next Top Model: 0

definitely an improvement...

Monday, June 12, 2006

Here's to bad mistakes!
(as opposed to good mistakes???)

So I like to think that EVERYONE has a mistake that they love to make no matter how many times they know it can only end in disaster.

There's only been one man in ALL of my adult relationships (anything post-college) that has every truly made me feel that I was beautiful. Not merely pretty enough to make out with. Or just pretty enough to ask out for date. He made me feel truly beautiful.

He's also the only man in all of my adult relationships to make me cry when things ended between us (obviously I have gotten sad or despondent about a few others, BUT they never made me cry.).

I still remember how it happened. I knew something was up and when he gave me the classic line of "you're too much fun. I need to concentrate on finishing my grad school applications," I felt my heart break. But I totally kept it together in front of him. Unfortunately for my roommates and their significant others at the time I totally lost it in front of them and went to my room feeling so stupid for caring for this guy so much. Kbean was a real trooper that night. She came into my room and let me get it all out...and made me stop calling myself stupid.

So when I saw him the following summer, I KNEW it was a bad idea, but there was just something about him that constantly pulls me toward him. That time I was careful and never allowed myself to get close to him again. And then he left for grad school.

And that was two years ago this summer.

And we saw each other last Thursday evening. And damn it all if all the same feelings came back again. The worse part was that he once again made me feel beautiful. And I allowed myself to get carried away by those feelings. DAMN HIM!!!

So I basically spent this entire weekend trying so desperately hard not to think about him.

I crocheted a baby sweater and matching hat...I would have gone on, but my hands were starting to ache.

So here's to another summer filled with what I hope are happy mistakes.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Making the same mistake over and over again...

It's never pretty to remember what you did the night before.

Unfortunately my network has been down all day and work has been a complete bastard. So no recap of what happened when I introduced the FreshMeat to the "neighborhood bar."

Until Monday, that is.

Thursday, June 08, 2006


Ideas for signs to leave at my desk while I was in training all day today:

I'm in training until 4 pm.
You can now begin to suck it. Hard.

I'm in training until 4 pm.

Which do you think I went with?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

About last night...

So I ended up hanging out at La Tasca with some awesome people! I even have a blog crush on one them now and I really just want to take and put her in my pocket so I can carry her around all day and pull her out and have her say funny things.

but that might not work as she might start to smell in such confined quarters.

Anyways it was great meeting (and re-meeting) you all (Law-Rah, DCSC, MappyB, VP of Dior, Betty Joan, Sweet, Velvet, and Moxie) last night!

And the lesson I came away from all this: NEVER pack a lunch for the next day when you've had three glasses of wine in you!

**link fixed! sorry about that!

Monday, June 05, 2006

You know what's hot?
When you meet up with a boy while REEKING of chemicals.

So I had purchased Veet a while ago as I was intrigued by their commercial. The ease of shaving your legs so quickly. So a little more than a week ago I gave it a whirl one Thursday morning. Ugh. I could already see I didn't like it. The smell was awful. But I slathered it on best I could and waited the required three minutes. I tried doing other things as the commercial had shown (I believe the girl brushed her teeth and freshened up her makeup. All I preceded to get done was get some cream some place I didn't want it. Even though I wiped it off immediately I STILL ended up with a bald spot. Hot, I know.

so after three minutes I tested it. Unfortunately my lower legs take after my Sicilian side of the family and those coarse bastard hair wasn't going anywhere (as opposed to my arms and thighs which have blonde hair [the Irish in me]). So I waited some more. Meanwhile, I'm thinking it would have taken me less time to just hop in the shower and do it the old fashion way. Oh well.

ding! It's been 8 minutes and I have to take it off. So using the bladeless razor that Veet provides I start to take it off... Now I have to hop in the shower and rinse off my legs.

1. My legs do feel extraordinarily smooth.
2. I REEK of chemical

no matter how much I soap up or used fragrant shower gel I can still smell the chemicals.

I put on jeans and I smell the chemicals.


this was the day I was meeting some guy and all I could think of was how much I smell like chemicals. There's no way I'm letting him near me.

so overall, I don't think I'll use Veet again. The hair on my lower legs were growing back by Sunday morning and it took a few days and several showers before I didn't smell the chemicals.

but maybe I would again if I was bored one weekend and wasn't going to go out in public.

Friday, June 02, 2006

This week has sucked HUGE balls!

What is it about a shorten work week that makes me work twice as hard?!?

Today has been the worse...probably because I can't stay late to finish things.

I'm so wired from trying to keep up with all my projects. One in particular can SUCK IT! Especially the STUPID WHORE who thinks she's in charge. SUCK IT HARD, BITCH!

Thank goodness for the weekend and delicious See's candy. I don't care that they aren't a part of my diet. My diet can suck it too.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I'm going to take that as a compliment

ManOfTheMoment: I've always liked Charlotte [from Sex and the City] the best because I just love that preppy New England style.

note: my style is NOTHING like preppy or New England. I think I'd break out in hives if I ever wore a cardigan and pearls.

Me: Um, so why are you seeing me?

ManOfTheMoment: Well, you are so different from ALL the other girls I know. You look NOTHING like them.

Me: Um, okaaaay.