Here's to bad mistakes!(as opposed to good mistakes???)

So I like to think that EVERYONE has a mistake that they love to make no matter how many times they know it can only end in disaster.

There's only been one man in ALL of my adult relationships (anything post-college) that has every truly made me feel that I was beautiful. Not merely pretty enough to make out with. Or just pretty enough to ask out for date. He made me feel truly beautiful.

He's also the only man in all of my adult relationships to make me cry when things ended between us (obviously I have gotten sad or despondent about a few others, BUT they never made me cry.).

I still remember how it happened. I knew something was up and when he gave me the classic line of "you're too much fun. I need to concentrate on finishing my grad school applications," I felt my heart break. But I totally kept it together in front of him. Unfortunately for my roommates and their significant others at the time I totally lost it in front of them and went to my room feeling so stupid for caring for this guy so much. Kbean was a real trooper that night. She came into my room and let me get it all out...and made me stop calling myself stupid.

So when I saw him the following summer, I KNEW it was a bad idea, but there was just something about him that constantly pulls me toward him. That time I was careful and never allowed myself to get close to him again. And then he left for grad school.

And that was two years ago this summer.

And we saw each other last Thursday evening. And damn it all if all the same feelings came back again. The worse part was that he once again made me feel beautiful. And I allowed myself to get carried away by those feelings. DAMN HIM!!!

So I basically spent this entire weekend trying so desperately hard not to think about him.

I crocheted a baby sweater and matching hat...I would have gone on, but my hands were starting to ache.

So here's to another summer filled with what I hope are happy mistakes.