:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Friday, July 29, 2005

As heard on hooking up!

"40 is the new 20. Didn't you know?"

with such sage advice how can anyone resist this show?!?
but does Maryam follow this advice??
that's the real question.

but by far, my favorite person is amy.

she has several dates that remind me of bad dates i've been on...and she constantly starts these conversations that make me just embarrassed for her! i can't wait until next week!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

sleep cycle

2 cosmos + 1 appletini = 3 hours of solid sleep followed by waking up every hour

everyone needs a shower buddy

today i had the honor of showering with His Royal Highness, King of the Cockroaches.

i didn't notice His Highness until mid-shower. as much as i hate bugs (especially cockroaches), i actually don't like smooshing them. setting out traps or boric acid i don't mind, but i have qualms about crushing them.

i'm serving His Highness an eviction notice tonight.

Monday, July 25, 2005

mr. saturday night

here's a recap of my date on saturday.

location: tallula's in clarendon (excellent drinks and cute, talkative waiter); best drink on the menu: 5 o'Clock Somewhere
guy: KC, 30, former navy man, went to school in MI

we each had 3 drinks and chatted. he's funny, cute, and interesting...and most importantly he's not only watched every season of Coupling, but actually owns the dvds as well!

we then decided to head to d.c. to go see some of the monuments at night. we saw, vietnam (and the statues for the nurses and african-americans), lincoln, korean, WWI for D.C., WWII, washington, and einstein. i have a nasty blister now from that walk and the walk home. at one point we were walking across the lawn at the washington monument when i stepped completely into mud. i didn't realize the extent until we got to einsten where i was able to point out how pretty i was with my entire right foot encased in dried mud (the mud on my left foot was minor compared to the right). hot, i know. he then drove me to the metro station as i wasn't sure i could give him directions on how to get home from my place.

making out: he was ALL about the making out. i would say that he started trying at lincoln. i finally allowed it at WWI. but then it was like a total makeout session at each memorial after that. while it was pleasant to make out with him, it was a bit much for my cautious side (i totally don't do pda's). and then the making out in his car before i hopped out for the subway...it was like we were in high school. i think we spent about 20 minutes "saying good night" to each other. i mean HOW OLD ARE WE TO BE MAKING OUT IN A PARKED CAR?!?

how we left it: he said, "i'll definitely e-mail you this week." i'm not holding my breath.

this morning: i totally broke down and e-mailed him to let him know that i had a pleasant time.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

i'm SO going to put that on my blog!

i was out last night testing out a new happy hour place with friends (grillfish: not bad, but small bar and it was a smidge too hot in there). and someone totally said something funny and my first thought was "i'm SO going to remember this so i can tell the world tomorrow!"

world, i can't for the life of me remember.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

when nature attacks!

i take two steps outside to walk to subway when some drunk/blind bumblebee/insect rams itself right into my eye!

what the hell?!

i must have yelped or something because someone actually shook themselves out of their reverie and stopped and asked if i was okay.

Monday, July 11, 2005

evil, thy name is fischer's popcorn!

i think i just ate my weight in fischer's popcorn.
i can't stop myself.
it's just buttery and delicious.

now i probably won't have any room for morton's martinis.
and THAT is the real tragedy.

maybe one piece more for the road...

judging: it's what i do best

there was this woman the other day walking ahead of me as i was walking to the subway after work. she was walking with a man, and i just couldn't stop staring at her...well, at least her legs.

they didn't go with her body...proportionately.

i mean she was this petite woman from her head to shoulders to her waist to her ass. and then there were these HUGE potato legs attached her ass. they were HUGE. and thick! and the skirt she was wearing was long but with a HUGE slit up the back that exposed the HUGENESS of her legs for the 5 minutes i stared at them. it was like the sun, i couldn't turn away once i noticed them.

did i mention how HUGE they were?

time to pull the balls out of your purse

he knows that i like him.
i know that he likes me.
yet, he still is hesitant to contact me.

it's because i smell, isn't it?

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

choices, choices

do i go home with the guy who was the Best. Ever. Makeout. Session. (we didn't even go that far) or do i go with the only guy to ever give me an orgasm?

tough choices...

what would you do?