:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

maybe i do have add

last week i was called into the bosslady's office to "discuss" something that really is pissing me off.

unfortunately half-way through our "chat" i was totally distracted by her hair. and suddenly her voice went into the voice of one of charlie brown's teachers.

it was one of the days where the amount of rain we were getting was unseemly.

and her hair.


i spent the rest of the meeting staring at her hair and then wondering if my mine looks like crap as well.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

i hate it when people know my name

as i was leaving the gym, the guy at the front desk shouted "have a great day, vixen!"

(this would be the same guy who also saw me half naked.)

so not only has he seen me half naked, but he remembers my name the next week.

it's like we're dating.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

i like my morning humilation before i get to work.

nothing strikes more fear into me than changing in the locker room at the gym. i don't even like to change in front of my friends, much less strangers. i would like to blame it on the fact that i'm paler than even God intended, but the reality of it is that things that used to ripple now jiggle.

and no one should see that.

so you can imagine the HORROR that ripped through my body as i was changing when i heard a male voice coming from outside the locker room.



i was like a deer in the headlights.
unable to breathe.

i had to walk out in a towel and my gym pants to ask him what he needed.
turns out the woman who normally gathers our towels was out and he needed me to go get them. luckily a FULLY-CLOTHED woman came to my rescue and dealt with him.

now, normally i would just like to pretend that nothing happened.
but oh, no. that really can't happen.

as i was walking out the guy who asked for the towels was sitting at the front desk. he shouted so the whole area could hear, "sorry for bothering you while you were changing."

yeahhhh....it's going to be an awesome day.


Friday, April 11, 2008

17 vodkas from around the world!

*special thanks to kbean, freshmeat, and orphan for hosting and organizing this!

recently some friends and i came together to do a vodka tasting. everyone brought a bottle to try out. in the end we had 17 vodkas representing 11 countries!

dc sports chick was the official sniffer for the event. i believe the double espresso and the pomegranate were her favorite smells.

there was no real way to go about this tasting...so i started to assign numbers from 1 to 5 based on how much i liked it. deciphering my notes after a few tastings has been a bit tricky...but here it goes...

stoli (peach): peachy peach, more please! 4
russian standard: smells like a potato, 3
smirnoff (passion fruit): yummy, yum! 5

snow queen: smoother, 4 [i'm not sure what it is smoother than]

khortytsa (honey and pepper): oh sweet goodness! have mercy on me! 1

the netherlands
van gogh (double espresso): delicious, 4

absolut ruby red: tastes just like grapefruit, 3
absolut new orleans (mango and pepper): why is mango and pepper delicious? 4
absolut pears: pear me in the morning! 3
svedka: am i supposed to smell wintermint? 4

reyka: slightly sweet smell, 4


hpnotiq: how do they even pronounce it after a few drinks? 3

three olives (pomegranate): smells soooo good! 4

square one: so if it's organic then it must be good for me, 4
kbean's tangerine infused home brew: very strong!, 3

peisachovka (kosher): bah! 1

new zealand

42 below (passion): i like the other passion fruit better, 3

favorite flavored vodka: looks like it's a toss up between the three olives pomegranate (bottle was finished), smirnoff passion fruit (a drop was leftover) [runners up are van gogh double espresso and absolute new orleans]

favorite non-flavored vodka:
reyka (almost finished the bottle) and snow queen (1/4 bottle is left) [runner up are russian standard and svedka]

favorite mixed drink: smirnoff passion fruit with lemonade (HOLY CRAP! it's the most awesome drink out there! i plan to spend my summer drinking this drink)

favorite question to ask: why does mango and pepper represent new orleans?

favorite thing to say after a tasting:
WOOOOO! damn. that was strong. let me try another.

sadly, i was inspired by barney AFTER the tasting to create a bracket and make a sweet 16 for the vodkas. hmmm...there are a lot of vodkas left. maybe an impromptu vodka bracket tasting is in order...

i get the brackets ready.