:: m a y h e m b y m i s s m ::

do you have any idea how hard it is some mornings to make a glass of water without vomiting?!?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

out of here, suckas!

i arrive in london tomorrow at 6 am (10 hour layover to see the crack at the tate modern and pick up an ornament) and then in cairo at 11 pm.

i may never come back if freshmeat gets her way and trade me for a camel.*

see you guys on november 14th!

*i think i'm worth two camels.


it's always a dragtastic time!

the race was awesome last night (i can tell because i woke up with a raw throat and a bruise on my shin).

i took something like 120 photos last night. while most of them were crap, there were some gems.

special thanks to leagalbean for getting us champagne and coffee cups to drink while waiting for the race to start.

check flickr for more images...


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

it's dragtastic!

don't forget tonight is the annual high heel race in dupont!

don't miss out on the fun!



i'm totally unprepared for this trip.

the high in aswan is 101.

101, people!!!!

i don't have clothes for 101 temperature.

i have pants...and 1 skirt i had planned on packing.

fuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeee.


Monday, October 29, 2007

any then it hits you

i leave in two days.


i mean, i still have stuff to do...things to launder...trash to empty out...vcr to program!

arabic to learn!!!



Sunday, October 28, 2007

being at work on a sunday

so depressing.

of course i didn't start the day off well.

1. my dvd clock jumped back an hour thanks to they daylight savings feature. unfortunately it's a week early. so i woke up confused as to what time it really was.

2. something horrible spilled in my fridge.

3. the heat is definitely not on in my building, but i got to spend most of the morning listening to maintenance try to fix it (apparently the pilot light keeps going out). whatever they were doing was causing my whole apartment to shake. i thought i was home in california during a quake.

4. realized that my new travel bag has too many pockets as it took me 5 minutes to realize just where i had "safely tucked away" my badge.

things i'm doing to improve my day.

1. reviewing amusing text messages.

2. confirming my hair really doesn't have any split ends and it's still totally flat from this morning's styling.

3. subtly rearrange things in gfb's office so she goes crazy trying to find a pen monday morning

4. going home to get back in my pajamas and eat a donut


Friday, October 26, 2007

two things i learned last night

after drinking half a bottle of wine...

1. i can actually hold a conversation with my mother without her breaking into tears.

2. i cannot successfully put on makeup.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

my work e-mails

hmmm....i've noticed that i'm using "fuck" more and more in my work e-mails.

i wonder if this is an indication of a problem...


Monday, October 22, 2007

two things i learned this morning

1. i just realized i put my underwear on inside out

2. i'm too lazy to attempt to remedy the situation


my new gym nemesis

i prefer going to the gym in the mornings to the evenings. i have a better shot at getting on a machine i know how to function...AND it doesn't cut into my drinking time.

this also means that you start to see the same people over and over again.

there's the nice mom-like person who is always up for a chat.
the sweaty guy who runs the entire time i'm there.
the crazy shin girl who i only see on the stairmaster.
and now, my new nemesis: girl who wears all her makeup and works out for only 15 minutes.

i swear the first time i saw this girl, i had just finished showering after my workout and walked over to my locker to see her reapplying her mascara and checking out how she looks. now i'm all for not looking like i a washed up dishrag when i'm out in public, but after a workout, i'm completely red and sweaty. there's just no way around it. but there's something INSANE about women who feel they need to workout in complete warpaint. seriously?!?!? who are you hoping will be there to check you out?

but the worse is that she was "done" with her workout 15 minutes later and ready to go home.

i ran into her again this morning...again with full makeup (it's 7:30 am and there are 10 people in the gym). i saw her back in the locker room 20 minutes later. she was done.

this better not be a trend, because i'm so screwed...


Friday, October 19, 2007

even in my dreams i suck

i've listened to so much arabic over the last few weeks that i'm actually starting to dream a bit in arabic.

but even in my dreams i have no idea what anyone is saying...


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

mercy on us all

i'm cleaning out my office today.

i suddenly realized that i really didn't have any work.

and i am leaving for a few weeks...wouldn't it be nice if people could find what they needed while i was away?


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

corn as far as the eye can see

this is how i spent my saturday evening...trapped in a corn maize with that girl and freshmeat.

it was a miracle i made it out alive...


Monday, October 15, 2007

why bother me?!?

text message i received from some guy i used to date:
"hey, how've you been?"

there are many things wrong with this message (well...really with him in general):

1. we dated briefly two years ago

2. he didn't want anything serious

3. i stopped taking his calls

4. he was lousy to make out with

why the hell get in touch with me almost two years after we have talked?!?

what a jackhole.


Friday, October 12, 2007

i kept my flower all night long

last night i tested out a spot for my happy hour rotation: russia house lounge & restaurant

first impressions
freshmeat: it smells like vomit
me: i think it smells like cheese
basementgirl: no, it just smells old
webboy: where's the drink menu?

happy hour specials
all house martinis are $7 until 7

drinks tested
dirty queen (luga-nova cinnamon, olive juice, olives): totally a winner! so delicious and salty! can't taste the cinnamon

pink panther (vodka, triple sec, sour mix, club soda, cranberry): a bit on the sweet side, but verrrry tasty

mango martini (mango-orange-pineapple vodka infusion, fresh mango puree, fresh raspberry puree, cream): looks really beautiful; definitely tasted better than i thought it would (i've been off mango drinks since a certain incident involving mango mixer and tequila)

red velvet punch (raspberry vodka, mandarin vodka, orange juice, lemonade, grenadine): wow! tasty! more please!

russian apple (vodka, green apple liquor, splash of pineapple): totally delicious and something to start off with if you aren't feeling too adventurous

sputnik (vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice, fresh cream): so pretty! the bartender drew a flower into the top layer of cream! oh, and it was delicious

vodka shots tested
russian garant "pickle-garlic": i didn't taste anything really, but freshmeat swears there was a garlic taste to it. i was much more excited by the pickles we got to eat after the shot. incredibly smooth!

stolichnaya blueberry: eh. not really one i enjoyed (basementgirl volunteered to finish mine off). but everyone else really liked it.

overall conclusion
while, i did perhaps open a broom closet on my way back from the restroom in a vain attempt to figure out how to get back to the bar, i got to say the place was awesome. definitely going back there again.

definitely going to have someone led the way so i don't go around opening inappropriate doors.

and don't do any shots...they hit you like a ton of bricks.


Thursday, October 11, 2007

i have a 12-year old mind

in my most recent arabic lessons i learned "to buy."

i spent the next 5 minutes cackling because it contains "tittie" in the word.

oh, i'm so ready to socialize with others...


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

when i do wrong, i go all the way

i spent most of last night on my couch watching The Biggest Loser while eating delicious see's chocolates.


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

another quotable part of the wedding...

waiter: would you like wine with dinner?

me: oh, yes! white, please.

[waiter about to pour wine into my glass, stops, and looks at me]

waiter: you are 21, right?

me: (trying to control my laughter) barely.

[waiter pours the wine and walks away...wedding guest turns to me]

wedding guest: i think he was flirting with you.

me: nah. i think he just had a nice view down the front of my dress.


one of my favorite quotes from the wedding

me: i don't think i've ever really gotten drunk at a wedding.

BasementGirl: really?!?!

me: i think tonight i'm going to try tonight. the antibiotics will help.

BasementGirl: hmmm...sometimes it's for the best not to be really wasted. then bad things can happen...like hooking up with that guy...

me: sometimes i need bad things to happen.


Thursday, October 04, 2007

the best part about the wedding i'm attending this weekend...

they are going to have...

are you ready for this awesomeness???

cactus. (effing.) cooler.

okay, they won't have it at the wedding, but it will be at the welcome fiesta tomorrow night.

going to a wedding in tucson just got THAT much better!!


freshmeat = bad service

i've decided that i cannot go out with freshmeat anymore.

the last few times we have, the wait staff have decided they hated us.

like burnt nachos hate.

homey can't live with burnt nachos.


Wednesday, October 03, 2007

evidence no. 765,101 that i need a life

or at least more distraction at work...

yesterday i received yet another request to join facebook. and i was just bored enough to do it.

now i can't stop looking people up.

this may have lead me to find out that my ex is severely balding and just had a baby.

i'm totally using my powers for evil.


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

september's count

september must have been a busy month for me...i only rented 16 movies.

this probably has something to do with the new fall shows starting up.

best rental of the month: disc 3 of battlestar galatica (season 2.5)

rental that i would be embarrassed to admit i had watched: constantine

rental that surprised me: chef! (series 2)


Monday, October 01, 2007

maybe i sleep better than i think

somehow i slept through the huge condo fire that was down the street from me. i had no idea anything was up until i walked outside to see several buses crammed into my tiny street.

then i walked down the street to see massive amount of fire trucks and what not. the most impressive part was the amount of hoses that had been used to put out the fire. i would really hate to be the person responsible for winding them all back up.

but this caused me to think about what i would take with me if there was a fire...and maybe how i should get renter's insurance and whatnot. you know, be a grown up for once.

and perhaps i better invest in some better looking pajamas as well.