Mothers

I could write a ton of stories about the horror that is my relationship with my mother. Suffice to say that if she knew the real me, she would be totally disappointed.

And then run and tell my family so they could gather together and pray for my soul.
(I don't have a problem with religion, just when it goes to the crazy extremes.)

So imagine the fear that RIPPED through my body as I retrieved my voicemail this morning and heard my mother talking about coming to visit me* early next year!!!

I'm hoping that if I don't mention it she'll forget and never come. Otherwise I need to find hiding places for all my booze, porn, and incriminating photos.

*the only time my mother has visited me was when i graduated from undergrad many years ago.