open letter (day two)
dear shit-for-brains thermostat,
why are there only two settings for you?
why must i freeze one night (wearing every item i own) only to roast the next (in nothing but a tank top and shorts)?
i can't believe i have to say this, but "Hell Frozen Over" and "Hell Itself" are not settings i would recommend.
are you sick?
did someone abuse you and now you turn to rage as a way to compensate?
please, please get some help as the property managers obviously don't care enough about you no matter how many times the tenants ask that you get help.
hoping i move soon,
mixin' vixen
p.s. - i'm close to creating a shrine for my completely useless radiator.
why are there only two settings for you?
why must i freeze one night (wearing every item i own) only to roast the next (in nothing but a tank top and shorts)?
i can't believe i have to say this, but "Hell Frozen Over" and "Hell Itself" are not settings i would recommend.
are you sick?
did someone abuse you and now you turn to rage as a way to compensate?
please, please get some help as the property managers obviously don't care enough about you no matter how many times the tenants ask that you get help.
hoping i move soon,
mixin' vixen
p.s. - i'm close to creating a shrine for my completely useless radiator.
posted by vixen @ 5:46 PM
5 Comments:
At January 17, 2007 7:31 PM,
Ar-Jew-Tino said…
Dear Mayhem by Miss M,
I'm just an old thermostat. I don't understand your human feelings of comfort and ease. I just regulate temperature based on my archaic settings that change daily based on, oh, let's say, gravity. I used to be a top-notch temperature-controlling piece of technology, but now I'm as old as most DC buildings. I would apologize for your discomfort but my piece-of-shit sensors and valves don't recognize the "feeling" of empathy.
Sincerely,
Your Thermostat
P.S. Say hi to Arjewtino's thermostat for me. I hear it likes to mess with his apartment's indoor temperature as well.
At January 17, 2007 7:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Miss M,
would you like to freeze or fry tonight?
- Thermo
ps. - damn Ar-jew for taking B's joke as he couldn't get here quicker ;)
At January 18, 2007 2:50 PM,
vixen said…
dear thermostat,
apparently by not answering your letter in a timely manner this has resulted in you deciding to not emit any sort of heat until i apologize for berating you.
my most sincere apologies.
please, please, please turn on the heat.
yours faithfully,
mixin' vixen
At January 18, 2007 7:08 PM,
Ar-Jew-Tino said…
Dear Miss M,
I'll have to think about it. And by "think" I mean exercise my valves.
Your Thermostat
At January 19, 2007 1:50 AM,
DCSportsChick said…
Ar-Jew-tino is killing me here!!
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