More Dating Tips

There are so many things wrong with this e-mail (excerpt below). I don't know where to start.

[B]ut it looks as if I've been stood up. Ha, ha! Poor thing... I took her to the zoo on Saturday - as a first date- and we were incoherent from the heat! I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't call....she was a nice person though....The offer stands if you want a drink. Well, that is if I am stood up - but that's almost a sure thing by now.

1. don't mention the fact that you have another date tonight. why can't you just say you have plans?
2. don't ask a girl for a date the same evening if it's already 5-f'ing-30
3. don't ask a girl for a date by saying that there's a chance you've been stood up. what girl likes to know that she's your second choice?!?