How to Disengage the Enemy a.k.a. Stop Touching Me!
Remember (for those of you with siblings) how on some car trips your sibling would be pissing you off, poking you, and getting on your side of the backseat? So you would draw an invisible line and basically tell them that if they crossed over it you would beat the living snot out of them? (that cant have been just me)
But how does one tell that to an overnight guest??
At first I thought how sweet, he wants to cuddle. But then my neck and back started to ache so I tried to move away only for him to come and find me. I was chased all over that bed. This morning Im exhausted and sore from cuddling. STOP TOUCHING ME! is what I want to scream the next time he moves in my direction. But there must be a much gentler way to say this without sounding like a coldhearted whore.
And yes, Ive tried the infamous Hug and Roll Away method. It doesnt work on this one.
Maybe I can try drawing a line down the middle of the bed...
But how does one tell that to an overnight guest??
At first I thought how sweet, he wants to cuddle. But then my neck and back started to ache so I tried to move away only for him to come and find me. I was chased all over that bed. This morning Im exhausted and sore from cuddling. STOP TOUCHING ME! is what I want to scream the next time he moves in my direction. But there must be a much gentler way to say this without sounding like a coldhearted whore.And yes, Ive tried the infamous Hug and Roll Away method. It doesnt work on this one.
Maybe I can try drawing a line down the middle of the bed...
posted by vixen @ 2:01 PM
9 Comments:
At September 20, 2005 4:06 PM,
vixen said…
you do come up with some brilliant ideas!
At September 20, 2005 4:14 PM,
vixen said…
so is genetically engineered food delicious or what??
At September 20, 2005 4:17 PM,
vixen said…
not yet.
but i like the idea.
will work on growing third arm shortly.
At September 20, 2005 4:20 PM,
vixen said…
i'm sure i could find some guy who would find a three-armed freak hottt.
At September 20, 2005 4:28 PM,
vixen said…
if only i could be so lucky...
At September 20, 2005 10:11 PM,
Matt said…
yeah.. its a vicious circle, i suppose!
At September 21, 2005 4:40 PM,
Kathryn Is So Over said…
I think the best method is the Moveaway, with arm extension.
You move away from your bed partner, then reach your arm out to rest next to him. It both keeps the person away from you, but allows him to feel touched.
At September 22, 2005 7:21 AM,
Matt said…
Why don't you grease yourself up? That way any advance will simply slide off. Furthermore, if that doesn't work then you could use the grease to help you swim through cold water in your escape.
At September 22, 2005 1:01 PM,
vixen said…
matt & hugh: you boys are filled with brilliant ideas.
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