This Week’s Highlights

1. The server at m&a tried to make us feel old just because we refused to order a jell-o shot when the light bulb went on. Fool.

2. “Pouch of Happiness” being described as that area between the elastic top of your underwear and the elastic top of your yoga pants that bulges out. A sign that life has indeed been good.

3. Accidentally finding out that a coworker is potentially going through a separation from her husband and having no one to talk about. Maybe this is why she’s been such a raging bitch for months now. I almost feel bad for wanting to tell her to suck it. Almost.

4. Finding out that the Aveda Institute in Chinatown is finally open! Finally, a place to get cheap (and apparently quality) waxing (they are all in training, hence the cheapness).

5. Looking at the remains from my stomach and realizing it was that LAST vodka and pineapple drink that did me in. bastards.

6. My brother is living in sin…and he didn’t get the “temptations of the flesh” talk that I got when I did that years ago. My (extended) family has this awful double standard. It’s amazing what the men in my family get away with. They are the ones who should suck it.