Maybe It's Time for Me to Clear Off My Desk
I seriously could do a daily posting about the stupidity that the Lazy Whore (LW) shows me everyday.
Like the time she announced that she always wanted to get into making films, but that it was too expensive. She really wants "to make films about the Gays and Lesbians. They have problems just like us!" (this from the woman who was disgusted at the thought of two men kissing in Brokeback Mountain)
But this one incident stands out in my mind.
About a week or so ago, the LW starts talking to me (as a rule of thumb I keep my headphones on at work due to her incessant talking and the Michael Bolton Lookalike's [MBLA] loud talking). I take off the headphones and she starts to ramble on how there are "black 'deposits'" on her desk. Being the daughter of an exterminator, I take the practical route and say "you mean mouse droppings." She gets this disgusted look on her face like I just said something that was 10 shades of nasty (listen, honey YOU are the one with the droppings on YOUR desk!). Then MBLA jumps into the conversation and takes a look at it. LW starts to whine about it. My tolerance level has been reached and I go back to ignoring them both.
Later, a guy comes up and takes a look at the droppings, confirms that they are indeed mouse droppings, and takes a sample. LW asks if it's because she eats lunch at her desk. The guy said that wasn't an issue at all and that there are a few areas in the building with mouse problems (my guess would be the PILES AND PILES of paper she has on her desk...though I can't point fingers as I have piles as well. at least I don't have mouse droppings). Housekeeping came and disinfected her desk.
I then spend the rest of the day listening to the LW tell EVERY ONE of her friends (via phone and the plethora of men that stop by to chat her up) about her problem and how it's probably because she had curry chicken the day before (Jaysus! The guy said it wasn't because you eat lunch at your desk! SHUT UP!).
About quitting time, the exterminator shows up (LW has left by this point) and announces that the droppings proved to be REALLY OLD. At least 3-4 months old.
DISGUSTING!!! That means that they have been on her desk and she JUST NOW noticed them.
After I vomited, I directed him to her desk and proceeded to e-mail my coworkers with an update on the mouse situation.
My very witty coworker wrote back:
"Nice. I guess it really is the same old shit."
Word, brother. Word.
Like the time she announced that she always wanted to get into making films, but that it was too expensive. She really wants "to make films about the Gays and Lesbians. They have problems just like us!" (this from the woman who was disgusted at the thought of two men kissing in Brokeback Mountain)
But this one incident stands out in my mind.
About a week or so ago, the LW starts talking to me (as a rule of thumb I keep my headphones on at work due to her incessant talking and the Michael Bolton Lookalike's [MBLA] loud talking). I take off the headphones and she starts to ramble on how there are "black 'deposits'" on her desk. Being the daughter of an exterminator, I take the practical route and say "you mean mouse droppings." She gets this disgusted look on her face like I just said something that was 10 shades of nasty (listen, honey YOU are the one with the droppings on YOUR desk!). Then MBLA jumps into the conversation and takes a look at it. LW starts to whine about it. My tolerance level has been reached and I go back to ignoring them both.
Later, a guy comes up and takes a look at the droppings, confirms that they are indeed mouse droppings, and takes a sample. LW asks if it's because she eats lunch at her desk. The guy said that wasn't an issue at all and that there are a few areas in the building with mouse problems (my guess would be the PILES AND PILES of paper she has on her desk...though I can't point fingers as I have piles as well. at least I don't have mouse droppings). Housekeeping came and disinfected her desk.
I then spend the rest of the day listening to the LW tell EVERY ONE of her friends (via phone and the plethora of men that stop by to chat her up) about her problem and how it's probably because she had curry chicken the day before (Jaysus! The guy said it wasn't because you eat lunch at your desk! SHUT UP!).
About quitting time, the exterminator shows up (LW has left by this point) and announces that the droppings proved to be REALLY OLD. At least 3-4 months old.
DISGUSTING!!! That means that they have been on her desk and she JUST NOW noticed them.
After I vomited, I directed him to her desk and proceeded to e-mail my coworkers with an update on the mouse situation.
My very witty coworker wrote back:
"Nice. I guess it really is the same old shit."
Word, brother. Word.
posted by vixen @ 2:42 PM
3 Comments:
At March 22, 2006 9:18 PM,
Anonymous said…
gack! I can't even read this whole entry. it makes me ill.
At March 22, 2006 9:50 PM,
Phil said…
Take a real dump on her desk and see if she notices that.
At March 22, 2006 10:27 PM,
vixen said…
hmmm...she might notice it....IF i place it on her phone, which is semi-permanently attached to her ear.
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