The breaking of glasses, the pseudonyms, and the invasion of my homea.k.a. My Thursday night at Front Page

It all started off tame enough. FreshMeat and I decided to take Orphan (a.k.a. the intern) out for cheap wine at Front Page.

First drink: we all stand around exchanging mild company gossip and slightly embarrassing stories.

Second drink: Orphan shows us the most ROCKIN' moves to a Kelly Clarkson song and FreshMeat is trying to convince the dj to play Pulp.

Third drink: Orphan decides to leave (without partaking of the third glass) leaving FreshMeat and I bored and staring at each other.

Half through third drink: FreshMeat is talking to the dj to find another song to play. The dj is slowly but surely falling in love with FreshMeat (we can tell because he starts to play her requests sooner and sooner).

Finishing third drink: random guys chat us up and I decide that we HAD TO give fake names. Mine was reminiscent of an 80s porn star. ::shudder:: One of the guys try to teach me how to do a poker face…very unsuccessful as I ended up laughing the entire time.

FreshMeat hustling for fourth drink: this random woman decides that FreshMeat is just her type and buys her a drink. So then FreshMeat leaves to go chase down the dj leaving the girl and me to stare at each other and try to fill the awkward silence. I believe the girl's exact words were "I hope she comes back soon."

Splitting the hustled drink: FreshMeat is so excited by one of the songs that her dance move requires her to throw her elbows out…which then knocks my glass over. Wine and glass everywhere. FreshMeat feels bad and offers her half to me.

FreshMeat hustling for the fifth drink: FreshMeat and the dj share a “moment” and he comes back with wine for everyone. I can barely get a few sips in as ALL I can think about is a Kenny’s Barbeque from Wrapworks. I try to discreetly distance myself when the dj FINALLY asks for FreshMeat's number. The guy watching the stairs asked me if I was okay. I said I was just waiting until the guy got my friend's number. He then asked if I needed to be hit on as well. I laughed and told him that I was okay. (meanwhile, I’m thinking "ummm…thanks, but I really don't need pity attention. Pbbbfffttt.")

Leaving the unfinished drinks behind: dj walked us out and said good night and FreshMeat and I head to Wrapworks.

The Aftermath
Slamming my elbow into the hand dryer in Wrapworks bathroom in the exact location where it already hurts.

Coming home to find that maintenance had once AGAIN entered my apartment with no notice (this time to fix a hole behind the stove that I had no idea about). They also used my bathroom as they LEFT THE TOILET SEAT UP!

FreshMeat waking up to a bloody GASH in her leg.

Finding a glass shard in my bag this morning.