D.C. Is Experiencing Menopause

Common symptoms of menopause include:

Hot flashes
(um, anyone else been enjoying the unseasonably warm weather this winter?)

Irritability
(doesn't it seem like Metro [and its employees] is getting more and more cranky?)

Bladder control problems
(the city can't keep a drain feel of debris to save their lives [walking across the Duke Ellington Bridge during or after a rainstorm is risking getting drenched by passing cars who have no compassion. whores.])