lunchtime conversation

that girl: i don't like them flaccid

freshmeat: how do you like them?

that girl: i like them rock hard.

me: hmmm...i like them to have a soft center, but hard around the rim.

my liver rejoices

thanks to an infection i get to spend the next two weeks on antibiotics.

translation: i don't get to drink.



what will i do with all my extra cash and free time now?

traveling = visits to the doctor

i have no idea what my problem is this year, but every time i take a trip i come back with some funky going on with my body.

i won't disgust you with the details...but suffice to say that what happens in vegas, doesn't always stay in vegas.


i hate to think about what i might get when i go to egypt...

not another day

i wish i never bothered with getting up this morning

what happens when a coworker has a birthday

well...their office might get decorated while they were out...




something might happen to their mac...




and to their keyboard and mouse...




and we might top it all off by doing something unholy to their chairs...
(if we didn't run out of streamers)

my friday nights?

since when did my friday nights go from happy hours with friends to take-out and food masks?



so depressing...

we all need some training

this week our department had its harassment awareness training.
the afternoon before bossman kept trying to remind himself that it was happening as he was trying to plan out the next day.

in the middle of one of these conversations he looks up at me with a very worried expression on his face.

bossman: what if i learn that i have been harassing people?

me: ha! no way!

bossman: have i been sexually harassing people???

me: ummmm...no.

i can't stop touching myself

it's one of my major flaws in life...i like to buy myself stuff.
the more useless, the better.

and it really doesn't take much to sell me on something...especially if it comes in awesome packaging and smells pretty.

hence my two new purchases last night at lush.

my new soap and my new face mask are AWESOME.

my face feels so nice and soft...i really can't stop touching it.



now if i could only find a guy who wants to touch it as well...

last of the summer beer

ah.

so last night marks the end of the summer mcfadden's happy hours (my friends and i kept winning them all summer long).

while i did not end up old school wasted, i did take full advantage of my open bar, showed off my sun burn, and embarrassed friends with my dancing.


so all in all an awesome evening.

things i learned in vegas

1. i like that fergie song big girls don't cry more than i like to admit

2. i burn like a mofo even when i have spf 50 on

3. fiji is the best tasting bottled water in the world

4. drunk guys hitting on me at the bar without their shirt on is not cool

5. some of those slot machine games are too hard to figure out sober let alone once you've had a drink...or five

6. drinks are overpriced and watered down...making me wonder how anyone gets drunk in vegas

7. i have an unholy attraction to roller costers

8. i may be the last unmarried woman left in vegas

9. a bachelorette party will get you into any club in vegas

10. my lucky skirt can no longer be called "lucky" anymore (from now on it will be called "my skirt that makes me sweat a lot and makes my ass look decent")

the only photo from vegas

how i started my saturday night...

vegas

does "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" count if i post the photos here?

i smell

in an attempt to not totally embarrass myself this vegas-bachelorette weekend, i've been lathering on the self-tanning lotion.

it's day two and all i can smell is the lotion.
and i put it on last night.


i don't know if i can make it the week if i have to keep smelling myself.



i wonder if my officemates can smell me...

sign of another problem?

signed up for netflix june 11th

rented 13 movies in june
rented 20 movies in july



maybe it's time i started actively dating again...

is it wrong?

to sit here and sniff the newly printed samples i just received?


i hear colors...

well, bourne me!

my friday night plans were thwarted by the fact that EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM went to see the new Bourne movie. but we were not daunted.

we went the next morning.

and. holy. crap.

the movie was awesome.
matt damon was HOT.
the fight scenes were kick ass.


everyone should see this morning.
especially as matt damon is hot.


but perhaps you might want to refresh yourself on what happened in the other two movies first.

but will that paper be available in 6 months?

i totally got into a fight with a coworker yesterday over whether or not the paper that was chosen would available for the whole academic year.

never mind that i have been in touch with the paper merchant and printer, who have assured me that people need to put down the crack pipe because there's going to be enough paper.



i seriously never saw myself as someone who would grow up and one day want to punch someone out over Classic Laid, Cloud Nine, 80 lb cover paper.





i need a life...or vodka...